Day 197: Camping Update

I am thankful to say our adventure went surprisingly well, especially considering there were thunder storms two of the three nights, a wildfire raging out of control close by,  and it was our first real camping trip with little Fiona.

Ian really felt the impact of chemo on his lung capacity in such high altitude and his energy levels were substantially lower than his usual eagle scout self, but he charged through. Check out these tasty breakfast burritos he whipped up for us our first morning at camp!

 

After the first rainy night, Ian worked hard to build an impromptu tarp (complete with camera tripod as one of the poles) to keep our site as dry as possible just in case we had to pack up and rush to the hospital in the middle of a storm. That made me a little nervous, I confess, but thankfully all went smooth.

The girls loved camping! They spent a lot of time side by side playing with rocks and sticks and dirt and giant black ants and flowers in the dry creek bed behind our tent.

They also drank more hot cocoa than ever before in their lives!

All in all, it was a really healthy challenge for us.  Fresh air, gorgeous views, physical exercise...

We plan to go camping again soon! 

Day 192: Camping Trip!

It's been a few weeks without a peep, so here is a quick update on Ian and our family:

Thankfully the weeks of silence have been due to everything remaining pretty stable. The port in his chest was removed a couple weeks ago and has healed up just fine. What a relief. I'm no longer married to a cyborg! 

Ian's liver counts are still mysteriously elevated, but after an ultrasound and other blood work his doctor is leaning toward it being caused by the chemo rather than GVHD. Other than the liver issue, everything is going pretty smooth. Still no change in his immunosuppressant, so looks like a long road before quarantine ends. 

Thankfully we have each other and are enjoying these quiet days together. We are also starting to venture out beyond the walls of our home and the clinic, exploring the great outdoors. Although public areas and groups of people are still off limits, the open air of nature is perfectly fine as long as Ian doesn't dig in the earth and breath in spores or other dangerous microbes. So a couple weeks ago we drove to the Sierras and Sacramento for our first adventure together outside the house, and tomorrow morning we leave for a camping trip for several days in Tuolumne Meadows! Ian has been a lean, mean, dehydrating machine this past week preparing all the snacks and meals for our trip. 

He even experimented and finally gloriously nailed a backpacking recipe for Penang fish curry, in hopes of catching some Sierra trout on our trip. Woohoo! 

I hope to share some fun pictures and stories when we get back next week...

Thank you for checking in with us and keeping us in your prayers!

Day 171: Happy Birthday Asha!

Today was Asha's 6th birthday, and it was the happiest one ever. There were lots of sweets and balloons and gifts and surprises, but here was the BEST part of it all:

Ian's chimerism results are in: 100% donor!!! 

This is from the peripheral blood only, not the bone marrow. But it really feels like a miracle, coming on the eve of Asha's birthday especially. For months she has been praying he would be healed by her birthday, or on her birthday. Those were the two choices she offered, God could take his pick. I had been honestly dreading the test results and her birthday, knowing they were likely to overlap and fearing the worst. I guess that is why Jesus told us we need faith like a little child. 

It isn't proof that he is cured (it will take about 5 years being disease-free before the doctors consider him cured) and we still have a long road ahead, but this is definitely wonderful news. His liver function tests have improved significantly also, so we are coming out of the danger zone there as well. Whew!!! 

Ian's doctor is out of the country for a few weeks, but when he is back we will talk more about whether or not to do more chemo. His immunosuppressant was doubled when his liver tests were elevated, and we are not sure when the slow process of reducing them will resume. For now we are holding steady under quarantine and enjoying life together as a family. 

Ian has an appointment next Friday to have the central line taken out of his chest, and I am counting the days! I don't mind flushing each of the three lumens daily with saline and heparin, but the waves of infections and the whole business of a tube coming out of his chest has been really disturbing for me. So thankful to have this part of the journey come to an end soon.

Good news all around. 

So thankful. 

Thank you for your love and prayers! 

Day 164: The Latest

So here's the latest news:

• All of Ian's liver counts have gone up since last week. Not significantly, but we were hoping they would continue to go down instead of back up. Definitely no chemo this week. Even so, we are deeply grateful for those who quickly responded and volunteered to take Ian if we had needed it. Please pray for his liver to heal from whatever is causing these elevated LFT's.

• Ian now has what looks like an infection in his central line, so we spent the afternoon today sitting in the infusion room getting IV antibiotics instead of chemotherapy.  He began an extra two week round of oral antibiotics tonight as well. Hopefully we are catching it early. Seeing the tube coming out of his chest makes me quiver enough as it is, but the redness and oozing and high probability of infection really makes my skin crawl and heart ache.  They are considering taking the central line out of his chest completely this next week since he is no longer taking IV medications regularly. Please pray the infection clears up quickly and completely and does not spread any further.  

Thank you!

Day 161: Quick Update

Here is a super quick update:

•  Ian's liver test counts have come down a bit. His doctor is still unsure if the cause is GVHD or toxicity from the chemotherapy, since the timing of everything lines up perfectly for both. They have postponed his chemo treatment, just in case. If his liver function tests are back to normal or close to normal this Friday, then they will begin round two of chemo then.  
• They pulled blood for a new chimerism test last week, and we should have results by the end of the month.  These results show cancer markers for leukemia as well as the donor/host percentage in his blood.  It's always a little harrowing waiting for this kind of news, so I'm trying not to think about it. 
• They dropped the second clinic day so we are back to just Fridays!  Huge relief, especially since Asha has just started to get car sick on these longer drives. By the way, if any of you are available to drive Ian to the clinic in San Francisco for one of his chemotherapy appointments so I could stay home with the girls, this would be a huge blessing.  The chemo schedule is Friday - Tuesday, once a month, but actual appointment times vary. Next week (if they decide to do it) Monday is still open for healthy volunteers who haven't been knowingly exposed to anyone sick in the past two weeks.  Please contact us personally if you are interested in helping out in this way.

Thank you!

Day 150: Clinic Day Prayers

I feel pretty toasted after a very long clinic day, but I also know how valuable your prayers are so I wanted to post a quick update:

At the forefront of concern is news that Ian's liver function tests (LFT's) are elevated significantly. His doctor seems more concerned that it is GVHD than the SOS returning, so he doubled Ian's immunosuppressant to see if that helps. It's tricky to know the cause, since his chemo can also cause elevated LFT's. He is scheduled to begin the next round this coming Friday, but they may push it back if his levels are still elevated. 

Statistically, doing this chemo treatment gives a greater cure rate so it is pretty important. It may not be worth the risk of another liver failure, however.  If the issue is GVHD, it could possibly mean immunosuppressants the rest of his life. It could also lend a greater chance of cure, however. This is because as the graft is fighting his liver, it may also be fighting the leukemia as well. I feel dizzy following all the rabbit trails of possibilities, so I'll leave it at that. I just pray that by whatever means necessary the end result is that he is cured.

Another item for prayer is his lungs.  He has had a pretty bad cough for the past week and a half, and there was a lot of crackling when they listened to his lungs today. They did a chest X-ray and it came out clear, no pneumonia, so they just put him on antibiotics. Please pray his cough and lungs clear up quickly and completely.  

Thank you!

Day 148: Thankful

I am thankful for so many things today.

I'm thankful I haven't had a headache since I posted my last update. It feels truly miraculous...

 Thank you so much for your prayers!

I'm thankful to feel in love with my children again.  I think the daily, throbbing headaches were really getting to me. So thankful to feel like a mom again.

I'm thankful for free tickets to Roaring Camp Railroad given to us this past weekend! 

I'm thankful for a few hours of breaking quarantine to ride on a steam train through the redwoods and play in a little red barn and climb haystacks. 

I'm thankful for the girls getting fresh air and for their little hands digging in the forest floor, even if we did have to scrub ourselves down as soon as we got home before having any contact with Ian...

I'm thankful for their rosy cheeks in the sunshine and Asha's beautiful butterfly face painting:

I'm thankful for friends who joyfully took Asha into their home for a sleepover in the redwoods Monday night. She arrived there ready for more forest adventures with her backyard safari gear!

I'm thankful the cough Ian has had this past week (which keeps me up at night worrying about him) seems better instead of worse this morning.

I'm thankful that Ian is starting to push himself to follow a weekly exercise routine to slowly regain his strength. I love watching him and Asha do the 7-minute workout together!

I'm thankful for a daily practice Ian and I have been developing together, reading various books/blogs/devotionals during Fiona's nap time that are cultivating deeper spiritual conversations and soul connections. 

I'm thankful for a good cry last night. Every once in a while it's necessary to face the reality of what we are going through and expose all the hidden grief and fear and worry, feel the heaviness of it, and let the tears flow. There is an extra measure of grace, strength, and sweetness that seems to come in these moments of raw broken-heartedness. The Lord carries us when we are weakest, and it's a precious place to be in the arms of God.

I'm thankful Ian is still chugging along without complications. 

 We never know what the next day will bring, but I'm so thankful for these precious, ordinary days we are having all together.

And I'm so thankful for all of you - for your love and prayers and support.  We are always so encouraged to hear of friends old and new (and some who we have never met!) who are following our story and praying for us regularly. Amazing...

Thank You!!!

Day 140: Quick Update

Here is a quick update on where we are at:

Ian getting a chemo injection last week

Ian finished his latest round of chemotherapy about a week ago and it has gone pretty smooth so far.  Chemo can have a number of delayed side effects, ranging from low energy and blood counts to a recurrence of liver failure, so continued prayers are appreciated. We aren't sure if it's the chemo or what, but Ian has not felt so well the past few days. His energy has dipped considerably and he vomited yesterday for the first time in a while. Other than that, he has continued to sail along smoothly.

I have been super exhausted myself lately, to be honest. Headaches have been plaguing me daily and I have felt so tiny and tired, while my children keep mysteriously mutating into these enormous, ear-piercingly loud, smothering monsters that strategically challenge my sanity.  It's crazy how a little lack of sleep and low energy can mess with my perception of these precious girls of ours. Asha in particular, as she is intensely social and I have been simultaneously her mother, kindergarten teacher, and primary playmate during these last seven months of quarantine. This has been challenging. I'd appreciate prayer for strength, patience, love, sleep, and sanity!

Because of the chemo, we are now back to biweekly clinic visits on Tuesdays and Fridays. We also found out last Friday that this was the first of four monthly 5-day chemo sessions. I had a feeling this would be the case when the nurse giving him injections laughed out loud when we said it was just one 5-day round of chemo. She said it always comes in several rounds but she would let the doctors break that news to us. So we weren't all that surprised to hear it is actually a four month ordeal.

One day at a time. This is a long road we are traveling. Thank you for still keeping up with us on our journey!

One of Ian's Father's day gifts from Asha :)

A good morning smile from Fiona

Day 129: Chemo Begins

Oh the feelings swirling around in my heart right now.  The latest chimerism results have been bringing up some painful reminders of the reality of high risk leukemia and the odds we are up against, as well as clouds of uncertainty about the future. On our drive here to the clinic, we had one of those difficult but necessary conversations about preparing for the worst.  Living with cancer has ebbs and flows of emotions. Some days it is very real and screaming in your face, other days it's tucked away neatly in the closet and almost forgotten about. Tests and treatments are common triggers to bring the monster out of the closet.

Pardon my language, but chemotherapy really sucks.  Thankfully it is just an injection this time and not hours hooked up to an IV line. The moment that syringe inserted it's contents into Ian's belly, he could feel it hit.  This is a mild dose, but it still has that familiar, loathsome feel of chemotherapy.  It's purpose is to tag all of Ian's blood cells for destruction by his brother's. Please pray its mission is accomplished comprehensively, smoothly and successfully. 

The bright side of these 5 days of chemo is that Ian and I will get a good chunk of time alone together.  Since he has come home, the days have been incredibly full and fast moving.  Sleep is a rare and precious commodity for this busy mama, but somehow the only time alone we can get happens late at night when we should sleeping.  So we are really looking forward to getting some extended daytime together without the kids to catch up. 

You may be wondering how everything came together for childcare during these next 5 days. Let me just say here and now that my parents are amazing.  My dad called a couple days ago to share that his chemo isn't scheduled until after the 21st and they would be more than happy for my mom to fly back to help us during Ian's treatment.  She arrived at 1am this morning, just in time to get some rest before watching the kids for clinic and chemo today. What a massive relief and blessing. It felt like Christmas having her here this morning, we were so excited to have Nana back!

Although there have been some heavier clouds passing overhead lately, overall these past few weeks together as a family have been a profoundly precious time.  Almost dreamy. Having Ian home and being under quarantine has meant that we spend virtually all day every day at home together. No busy schedules to manage, no rushing from here to there, no getting kids in and out of carseats. Lots of meals together around the table.  Although the days seem to pass so quickly, they also feel slow and sweet. I don't know how these two realities exist simultaneously, but they do. 

And I am loving every moment of it.  I love that Ian is experiencing Fiona's development explosion as she says more and more words every day. I love that I can always tell Ian has entered the room by Fiona's huge smile and sparkly eyes in his direction. I love that she has to immediately show off to Ian any new outfit or accessory that makes her feel pretty. I love to see Asha swinging in the hammock with Ian. I love that they sing spontaneous songs together and do drawing lessons and science experiments and watch history detective shows together. I even love going to the clinic visits all together as a family. These are sweet times. A little bittersweet, but still so very precious... 

Day 125: Another Round of Chemo

Well, just as we were starting to feel like things were smoothing out we were hit with some rough news today. The doctor called and said the latest chimerism test showed things moving in the wrong direction: Ian's blood cells are increasing in percentage rather than his brother's. The doctor said he wasn't concerned, but he was bothered.

We aren't sure what to make of this distinction, or what these latest results really mean, but we do know that the next round of chemo begins this Friday. He would have started it already, but they were concerned about his liver being able to handle another dose of chemotherapy. It should be a milder one this time and he will be able to stay home during the 5 days of treatment. We aren't sure what this will look like with daily trips to San Francisco and how to manage it with the kids, but I'm sure everything will fall into place. Taking it one day at a time...

Please pray for us as we walk this out - physically, emotionally, practically. It is a challenge.  Please pray Ian's liver will work like a champ through this round and not be compromised in the slightest. Please pray that Ian's chimerism will reach the necessary goal of 100% donor and he is completely cured. Please pray this is just a tiny blip in the journey and we will soon be smooth sailing out of these scary, stormy waters...

Thank you!