The Week in Pictures

We are still trekking on, day by day. 

Ian's mom is here taking turns with me so that one of us is by his side 24/7. It is a full time job for Ian trying to stay on top of the pain and constantly adjusting his body to find some semblance of comfort and avoiding bed sores. He can no longer walk or even stand more than the fraction of a minute it takes to quickly change his bedding. Sitting up is very difficult too, due to his painfully bloated belly. His intestines are still blocked and paralyzed, leaving everything to collect and swell in his abdominal area. They inserted an NG tube through his nose and into his stomach to drain the extra fluid that builds up. It seems to be helping a bit, siphoning off a couple liters per day.  He hasn't eaten a meal in weeks, but he savors every sip of water and sucking on ice chips. The abscess is still there, but it has not burst. 

Everyone is amazed Ian is still here with us. He's very aware of his body and is able to adjust his depth of breathing in order to minimize pain. He is engineering all kinds of tricks to make himself more comfortable. He is also on increasing amounts of morphine and Demerol, but he's very careful and systematic to preserve as much of his brain in the process of managing the pain. 

Now that it seems Ian may be around a while longer, I'm trying to find a new balance of time/energy with both Ian and the girls. Asha seems to be fine, but little Fiona is missing mama and having a lot of sadness and emotional/social regression. My new goal is to spend every other night with the girls and keep them with me here at the hospital during the day as much as possible. I feel it is important for them to be with Ian and see him with their own little eyes as things develop, to help them process the reality of what's going on. I also feel like I want to be there for them as much as possible during this time, while their little hearts are processing it all. It's not an easy balance to find, but having Ian's mom here has been a life saver. Dear friends have also come for play dates in the hospital family room and brought food and taken the girls for hikes in the woods and to their home for sleepovers. We are finding our way through this storm, day by day. 

Here are some pictures to give you a window into our lives this past week:

❤️ Valentine's Day Selfie: 

Asha thought these flowers outside the hospital were so beautiful, she wanted to take a picture of them for Ian. (He can't have any living plants in his room due to no immune system.) 

We like to let the girls spend a little time with Ian every day. The girls were quiet as mice here, staying occupied while Ian slept. We were all impressed with Fiona's focus coloring her mandala for Abba. 

The family room here has boxes and boxes of puzzle pieces from at least 10 different sets all mixed together. We had no picture to go by, only clues of size and color and texture. The girls and I immersed ourselves in puzzle madness one day and were quite proud of ourselves for this accomplishment:

Asha and Fiona on a hike this morning in Marin:

The warrior himself, smiling:

This guy is amazing, and he is proof of amazing grace in the midst of suffering. He throws these blissful, heavenly, glorious smiles at us throughout each day. They pierce my heart through and give me strength for the next round of moments...