Update

Ian said to me this morning with a peacefully glowing smile, "Well, if Jesus takes me Home then that will be fantastic." Life has not been easy for him lately, but he is still very much alive and carrying on moment to moment. Doctors occasionally remind us of the standing offer for him to give up the steady flow of transfusions and antibiotics in the hospital and just go home, but that doesn't feel right to us. We are waiting on the Lord and His timing, and we are still praying for a miracle of healing. 

The mystery fevers continue unabated. The abscess in Ian's colon is still contained, meaning it hasn't burst and set off the countdown to eternity. The infection as a whole seems to be getting worse, though. The inflammation has at least partially blocked his intestines and his belly is still very swollen and tender. He hasn't been able to eat anything the last four days and is quickly losing weight and energy. They started him on IV nutrition and lipids last night.

Chinua has been here for several weeks now, a faithful friend by Ian's side. He has probably spent half his nights here in the hospital chair - a contraption that transforms into something similar to but not quite like a bed. It's been an amazing gift to me, knowing Ian is in good hands while I'm away with the girls.  

Tomorrow he flies back to his precious wife and kids. Just to give a tiny window into how amazing his wife Rachel is, they had a family trip to India scheduled this month and she made the trip as a single mom with their five kids. All for the sacrifice of love and friendship, so that Chinua could be here to support us. I have often melted into tears of gratitude and amazement at how they as a family have served us in this season. 

Please pray for Fiona as she isn't doing so well. She was up with my mom in the middle of the night screaming with growing pains and wanting me to be there to comfort her. I was with Ian, on the phone trying to calm her down, watching him writhe in fevered agony while Fiona screamed. She isn't eating much and is losing weight. She misses me, and on a deeper level she misses Ian.  I've tried taking her on special one-on-one hikes through the forest and playing at the beach until the sun sets. These sweet moments of connection can't seem to heal the greater wound and instability of our lives right now, though. 

It's been a rough day, full of heavy hearted sighs. This is a treacherous road with endless steep curves that make seeing around the corner impossible. Some days I just want to fold up into a fetal ball and cry. I don't want to open my eyes to the cliffs below or the cliffs above, I just want to sleep until this nightmare is over. But I know that after some tears and rest, I will have renewed strength to open my eyes again and keep climbing - just one step at a time. 

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.