Well, the fairly smooth waters just hit a rough patch. As I was driving home, Ian called and said he had a fever over 101 and so they are assuming there is an infection somewhere. They immediately began more preventative antibiotics, took samples to test for infection in his blood and will also do a chest X-ray to look for infection in his lungs. Soon the fever climbed to 102.3 - my heart continued to sink to the floor. The blood test results won't be back for another couple days. I have to trust and not imagine the worst. I've got to keep those thoughts and feelings in check. Take it one moment at a time.
I was about to turn around and go back to UCSF when my mom called and said Fiona was crying and crying in pain for a long time and they couldn't calm her down. It was almost an hour and a half past her bedtime. This sounded strange and concerning, so I rushed home to find they had managed to get her to sleep. She just woke up around 12:30am screaming in pain again and I eventually was able to nurse her back to sleep, but will need to get her checked out ASAP - possibly at the ER if this continues. And a trip to the ER may disqualify me from visiting Ian for a while...
So here I am at 1am, sharing with you in the middle of the storm, asking for prayer. Prayer for Ian's fever and whatever is causing it, prayer for our little Fiona, and prayer for me as I juggle all of this. I'll update as soon as I have more news, but if you could lift us up right now I would really appreciate it!
Thank you...
Update 1.1
Fiona slept well and when she woke up at 5:30 she smiled, giggled and pounced on me. I'll take that as a good sign and answer to prayer :)
Update 1.2
Ian called this morning and his fever broke in the night, so doesn't look like an infection! Another answered prayer!
a place for news and prayer for the Brown Family during Ian's journey with Leukemia. please encourage them by leaving a comment on the posts you read. check out the "help out" page for information such as where to send mail...
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Day 9: Mountain Climbing
It's Day 9 and Ian is climbing this mountain like a champ. Not that there isn't any misery involved...he can hardly swallow and pronouncing "k's" and "l's" is now too painful to attempt. The sores in his mouth are so bad that he will probably be living on oatmeal for the next week, but he's still glowing and smiling and cheering us on as if we were the ones climbing... I love this man.
Yesterday we celebrated Valentine's Day by watching a movie together and eating Noah's chocolate chip bagels. After weeks of inquiring about bagels as an exception to the "no outside food" rule, he was finally given the OK from headquarters. Noah's chocolate chip ones are his favorite, so I was elated to find that they made special heart-shaped ones for Valentine's day! I bought two dozen to share with Ian and the hospital staff here. Nurses poked their heads in all day saying thank you for the yummy treats :)
My love and admiration for Ian continue to grow as I watch him stand glowing in the midst of this fire. His strength and tenacity, his warm heart and unshakable faith, his perpetual smile,
his intuitive understanding of things and people, his love for others...
He is solid gold.
I'm a blessed woman to be by his side.
Thank you so much for walking with us through this.
It's amazing to type these updates knowing so many of you are following along and praying for us.
The Lord is listening and answering.
He is standing with us and strengthening us in the fire.
We are so grateful!
"OBU" is Asha's spelling of "Abba" (daddy in Hebrew)
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Day 7: Mama Day
Ian is definitely neutropenic now with mouth sores, night fevers, and energy lows. Still, his spirits are up and overall he's doing really well. Now we wait for his blood counts to come back, which will be the first sign that his brother's stem cells have grafted successfully. I'm anxious to head back to UCSF and spend the rest of the day with him. Valentine's Day post soon to come :)
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Day 6: Still Smiling!
I brought the girls by to see Ian today, and as you can tell from the pictures he is still doing great. Amazing grace just keeps carrying us. So many prayers covering us. We are so blessed...
This last shot was taken by Asha.
I love the joy of the moment that she captured!
Monday, February 11, 2013
Day 5: Picture Day
I just re-discovered hipstamatic, so watch out. You may be getting a steady stream of pictures the next few days.
Here is Ian yesterday morning. Doesn't he look great?!!!
He's feeling great, too. Word this morning is that he still isn't neutropenic, though his blood counts are dropping. His mouth is a bit sore, but not too bad. Overall, he's sailing through this. So thankful!
*****
Here is Ian in his hospital bed, equipped with iphone and laptop, receiving encouragements from around the world. I've never been so grateful for modern technology. See that smile? He had no idea I was taking a picture. It's purely because he's feeling the love from one of you :)
*****
Here is Ian in his hospital bed, equipped with iphone and laptop, receiving encouragements from around the world. I've never been so grateful for modern technology. See that smile? He had no idea I was taking a picture. It's purely because he's feeling the love from one of you :)
********
Here is Asha two years ago- her last hipstamatic photo!
Here are some pics of the girls today:
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Day 3: So far, so good!
No big news here, other than the same wonderful news that Ian is doing just fine. They have found a great medication that is effectively keeping his nausea down and his appetite strong. He is almost *neutropenic, but not quite yet. We might have one more day before outside food is banished and he is confined to the hospital menu. I've been trying to keep him fattened up with whatever his heart desires, most commonly bagel breakfast sandwiches and Togo's #24 (turkey/avocado). My mom has also done her part at fattening him up with her world famous homemade chicken strips :)
We are praying for a continued smooth climb up misery mountain. I'm tempted to give it a new name, since there has been very little misery so far! The upcoming *neutropenic state is supposed to cause greater weakness and vulnerability as well as a host of painful side effects from the chemotherapy, however, so we are still just beginning this trek and are thankful for every smooth day given to us.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. We are feeling them and will continue to keep you updated!
* Neutropenic means he has literally no white blood cells (neutrophils) which fight bacterial and fungal infections.
We are praying for a continued smooth climb up misery mountain. I'm tempted to give it a new name, since there has been very little misery so far! The upcoming *neutropenic state is supposed to cause greater weakness and vulnerability as well as a host of painful side effects from the chemotherapy, however, so we are still just beginning this trek and are thankful for every smooth day given to us.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. We are feeling them and will continue to keep you updated!
*******
* Neutropenic means he has literally no white blood cells (neutrophils) which fight bacterial and fungal infections.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Day Zero: Update
Amazing. Absolutely amazing! Ian has a history of being highly reactive to blood transfusions, all of which have been of the same blood type until today. We didn't know what to expect, but in spite of preventative pre-medications we were prepared for at least a bit of sibling rivalry. So there I stood, holding my breath as that wine-stained plasma made it's way down the plastic tubing and into Ian's body. I observed his skin under the bright lights, alert for those itchy hives that inevitably appear when foreign blood comes to the rescue. We waited and waited... and nothing happened. Not a single rash. Not a single case of the shakes. He was just fine, reinforced the whole time by countless prayers and encouraging calls, texts and comments pouring in from you precious people who are walking alongside us on the journey.
We are so thankful and relieved!
Around here, they refer to day zero as one's "new birthday"- I'm not exactly sure why they call it that, but I think I feel it in my heart. It's the birth canal into a long, vulnerable period of time dependent on others for survival. It's the seed of hope for a leukemia-free future. It's not just a new immune system, it's a new chance of life with a fresh appreciation of each new day. It's a day to celebrate, and celebrate we did! Here is a picture of Nurse Kristen again, but this time she is bringing Ian a mini birthday cake with a chorus of other nurses joyfully singing "happy birthday" behind her:
We are so thankful and relieved!
*******
Around here, they refer to day zero as one's "new birthday"- I'm not exactly sure why they call it that, but I think I feel it in my heart. It's the birth canal into a long, vulnerable period of time dependent on others for survival. It's the seed of hope for a leukemia-free future. It's not just a new immune system, it's a new chance of life with a fresh appreciation of each new day. It's a day to celebrate, and celebrate we did! Here is a picture of Nurse Kristen again, but this time she is bringing Ian a mini birthday cake with a chorus of other nurses joyfully singing "happy birthday" behind her:
Can't you feel the love?
Nurse Kristen snapped a shot of Ian and I, too.
And I snapped a close up of the cake, after sampling a slice :)
Day Zero: Transplant Begins!
A few moments ago, Nurse Kristen hung the bag of stem cells and began the IV drip. Here we go!
Monday, February 4, 2013
The Mountain of Misery
Only two more days until the transplant. Chemotherapy ended yesterday, but the side effects are only beginning. Ian is making his way up misery mountain. Nausea has kicked in full power. He's having a hard time eating, and an even harder time keeping food down. I've stocked the guest freezer with popsicles from Whole Foods (thanks Sunol for the gift card!) and am hoping he will be able to stomach a new genre - Greek yogurt fruit pops for the extra protein power :)
These are the more hazy, queasy days that go sort of slow, where we more consciously must put one foot in front of the other. It took a lot of inner reserve to start out, but Ian walked 6 laps this morning! I walked beside him holding the pink plastic puke bucket, just in case. It feels so good to be here with him. I am infinitely thankful for my parents who have temporarily moved into our apartment and are holding down the fort with our girls. What a blessing!
Here is a little synopsis of what to expect the next couple weeks. The doctor drew a "misery over time" chart and we have barely begun the ascent. Here is the chart:
Day zero (0) is coming this Wednesday, February 6th - the actual bone marrow transplant. There is a foreboding spike that day, because often there is a shock to the system as it receives this reboot of foreign stem cells. Especially when it is of a different blood type- which is the case here with Ian's brother. Not a big deal, they say, but he could have the shakes and other unpleasant manifestations. I'm trying not to think about that. One day at a time. As his blood levels drop from the chemo, they expect him to experience increasing weakness, nausea, and a number of other side effects like mouth sores, sore throat, and intestinal discomforts. Although none of this is fun, it is reassuring to know these are normal and should improve once his new immune system starts producing enough blood cells.
Somewhere around Day 7 (February 13th) they expect Ian to reach the peak of misery mountain. Hmmm... Just in time for Valentine's Day. Honestly, I feel like every day is Valentine's Day around here. I've never felt more love and gratitude for this amazing man. He is a gem. He is so full of love, and so truly lovable. Even in his misery, he is thankful and joyful and makes the nurses laugh. I'm so grateful for every day, for every moment that he feels well enough to take my hand, listen to my heart, and make his silly jokes!
I am always impressed by how things can seem so terrifying from a distance, but once we are in the midst of them there is this amazing grace that carries us through. Your prayers and words of encouragement are priceless. Ian received a couple texts recently that were deeply fortifying. Please feel free to send messages any time to Ian via phone, text, email, or snail mail. He may not be able to respond immediately, but I promise it will brighten his day. He hangs on these words of encouragement, especially during the low times like now. I have written many of them down for him to remember again and again.
Thank you to each of you who have supported us in so many ways. I'm humbled and awe struck! This could be such a stressful time, but I feel deep peace and assurance knowing that all is taken care of and will be taken care of. With the strength God provides, we will climb this mountain and all the mountains ahead, one step at a time. And I know at the end of this trek we will stand amazed and thankful for all the Love and Beauty we would have missed otherwise.
These are the more hazy, queasy days that go sort of slow, where we more consciously must put one foot in front of the other. It took a lot of inner reserve to start out, but Ian walked 6 laps this morning! I walked beside him holding the pink plastic puke bucket, just in case. It feels so good to be here with him. I am infinitely thankful for my parents who have temporarily moved into our apartment and are holding down the fort with our girls. What a blessing!
Here is a little synopsis of what to expect the next couple weeks. The doctor drew a "misery over time" chart and we have barely begun the ascent. Here is the chart:
Day zero (0) is coming this Wednesday, February 6th - the actual bone marrow transplant. There is a foreboding spike that day, because often there is a shock to the system as it receives this reboot of foreign stem cells. Especially when it is of a different blood type- which is the case here with Ian's brother. Not a big deal, they say, but he could have the shakes and other unpleasant manifestations. I'm trying not to think about that. One day at a time. As his blood levels drop from the chemo, they expect him to experience increasing weakness, nausea, and a number of other side effects like mouth sores, sore throat, and intestinal discomforts. Although none of this is fun, it is reassuring to know these are normal and should improve once his new immune system starts producing enough blood cells.
Somewhere around Day 7 (February 13th) they expect Ian to reach the peak of misery mountain. Hmmm... Just in time for Valentine's Day. Honestly, I feel like every day is Valentine's Day around here. I've never felt more love and gratitude for this amazing man. He is a gem. He is so full of love, and so truly lovable. Even in his misery, he is thankful and joyful and makes the nurses laugh. I'm so grateful for every day, for every moment that he feels well enough to take my hand, listen to my heart, and make his silly jokes!
I am always impressed by how things can seem so terrifying from a distance, but once we are in the midst of them there is this amazing grace that carries us through. Your prayers and words of encouragement are priceless. Ian received a couple texts recently that were deeply fortifying. Please feel free to send messages any time to Ian via phone, text, email, or snail mail. He may not be able to respond immediately, but I promise it will brighten his day. He hangs on these words of encouragement, especially during the low times like now. I have written many of them down for him to remember again and again.
Thank you to each of you who have supported us in so many ways. I'm humbled and awe struck! This could be such a stressful time, but I feel deep peace and assurance knowing that all is taken care of and will be taken care of. With the strength God provides, we will climb this mountain and all the mountains ahead, one step at a time. And I know at the end of this trek we will stand amazed and thankful for all the Love and Beauty we would have missed otherwise.
Friday, February 1, 2013
100 Days of Prayer
Nausea is starting to hit, but overall Ian is doing well with the chemo. Just a few more days until the transplant. I know so many of you are praying regularly for us, and I can't thank you enough! In addition to your spontaneous prayers and well wishes, I think it would be really encouraging for Ian to have each day from transplant for the first hundred days covered by prayer. I'm not expecting 24/7 coverage, but just keeping him in thoughts and prayers especially throughout that day as you remember. If this is something you would like to do, please leave a comment on this post with the date you are signing up for. I will check both the blog and my facebook post for sign ups and add the names to this post here, so it will stay as current as possible. On the day you have signed up for, if you could also send a comment/text/email/phone message to Ian letting him know you are praying and any words of encouragement that would be wonderful.
Also, here is the address if you want to send him a card at the hospital, any time. He should be here until the end of February:
Ian Brown
C/O UCSF Medical Center, 11 Long
505 Parnassus Ave
San Francisco, CA 94143
Also, here is the address if you want to send him a card at the hospital, any time. He should be here until the end of February:
Ian Brown
C/O UCSF Medical Center, 11 Long
505 Parnassus Ave
San Francisco, CA 94143
Thank you!
Sign up:
1. Feb 6 (Transplant!): Scott & Kim Reno
2. Feb 7: Annie Stepka
3. Feb 8: Linda McMasters
4. Feb 9: Amy Yun
5. Feb 10: Hope Brownlee
6. Feb 11: Jacob Wickersheim
7. Feb 12: Erin Adams
8. Feb 13: Scott & Ronee Curry
9. Feb 14: Leilah Krounbi
10. Feb 15: Bob & Lisa Ladwig
11. Feb 16: Beth Clendenin
12. Feb 17: Dylan Clendenin
13. Feb 18: Kristine Mittmann
14. Feb 19: Beverly Silva
15. Feb 20: Shanti Dickson
16. Feb 21: SueAnn McCullough
17. Feb 22: Ute Eichholz
18. Feb 23: Renee Rushing
19. Feb 24: Kinjal & Himanshu Shah
20. Feb 25: Bartlett Family
21. Feb 26: McMaster Family
22. Feb 27: Jennifer McPherson
23. Feb 28: SueAnn McCullough
24. Mar 1: November Hammond
25. Mar 2: Alex Lerza
26. Mar 3: Grace Wickersheim
27. Mar 4: Jesus & Mary Carrera
28. Mar 5: McMaster Family
29. Mar 6: Candace Rodgers
30. Mar 7: SueAnn McCullough
31. Mar 8: Elizabeth Thompson
32. Mar 9: Alex Lerza
33. Mar 10: Candace Rodgers
34. Mar 11: Yifeng Liu
34. Mar 11: Yifeng Liu
35. Mar 12: McMaster Family
36. Mar 13: Jacob Kimball
37. Mar 14: SueAnn McCullough
38. Mar 15: Sara Crompton
39. Mar 16: Alex Lerza
40. Mar 17: Ivanna Rook
41. Mar 18: November Hammond
42. Mar 19: Beverly Silva
43. Mar 20: Osanna Bertsch
44. Mar 21: SueAnn McCullough
45. Mar 22: John McGee
46. Mar 23: Alex Lerza
47. Mar 24: Cindy Parsons
48. Mar 25: Bartlett Family
49. Mar 26: Kim & Ron Gagosian
50. Mar 27: Jennifer McPherson
51. Mar 28: SueAnn McCullough
52. Mar 29: Jen Kibler-McCabe
53. Mar 30: Alex Lerza
54. Mar 31: The Kozdons
55. Apr 1: Jesus & Mary Carrera
56. Apr 2: The Dickson Family
57. Apr 3: Osanna Bertsch
58. Apr 4: SueAnn McCullough
59. Apr 5: The Dickson Family
60. Apr 6: Alex Lerza
61. Apr 7: Jen Kibler-McCabe
62. Apr 8: Kim & Ron Gagosian
63. Apr 9: The Kims
64. Apr 10: Candace Rodgers
65. Apr 11: SueAnn McCullough
66. Apr 12: Josh & Kristine Mittman
67. Apr 13: Alex Lerza
68. Apr 14: Jen Kibler-McCabe
69. Apr 15: Jen Kibler-McCabe
70. Apr 16: Sue Sutherlin
71. Apr 17: Elizabeth Thompson
72. Apr 18: SueAnn McCullough
73. Apr 19: Beverly Silva
74. Apr 20: Alex Lerza
75. Apr 21: Rebeca Groomer
76. Apr 22: Chris & Miranda Hale
77. Apr 23: The Kims
78. Apr 24: Osanna Bertsch
79. Apr 25: SueAnn McCullough
80. Apr 26: Jennifer McPherson
81. Apr 27: Alex Lerza
82. Apr 28: Josh & Kristine Mittman
83. Apr 29: Chris & Miranda Hale
84. Apr 30: The Kims
85. May 1: Jesus & Mary Carrera
86. May 2: SueAnn McCullough
87. May 3: Chris Stahl
88. May 4: Alex Lerza
89. May 5: Josh & Kristine Mittman
90. May 6: Chris & Miranda Hale
91. May 7: Rachel Cote
92. May 8: Kim & Ron Gagosian
93. May 9: SueAnn McCullough
94. May 10: Candace Rodgers
95. May 11: Alex Lerza
96. May 12:
97. May 13:
98. May 14: Amy McGuire
99. May 15: Beverly Silva
100. May 16: SueAnn McCullough
52. Mar 29: Jen Kibler-McCabe
53. Mar 30: Alex Lerza
54. Mar 31: The Kozdons
55. Apr 1: Jesus & Mary Carrera
56. Apr 2: The Dickson Family
57. Apr 3: Osanna Bertsch
58. Apr 4: SueAnn McCullough
59. Apr 5: The Dickson Family
60. Apr 6: Alex Lerza
61. Apr 7: Jen Kibler-McCabe
62. Apr 8: Kim & Ron Gagosian
63. Apr 9: The Kims
64. Apr 10: Candace Rodgers
65. Apr 11: SueAnn McCullough
66. Apr 12: Josh & Kristine Mittman
67. Apr 13: Alex Lerza
68. Apr 14: Jen Kibler-McCabe
69. Apr 15: Jen Kibler-McCabe
70. Apr 16: Sue Sutherlin
71. Apr 17: Elizabeth Thompson
72. Apr 18: SueAnn McCullough
73. Apr 19: Beverly Silva
74. Apr 20: Alex Lerza
75. Apr 21: Rebeca Groomer
76. Apr 22: Chris & Miranda Hale
77. Apr 23: The Kims
78. Apr 24: Osanna Bertsch
79. Apr 25: SueAnn McCullough
80. Apr 26: Jennifer McPherson
81. Apr 27: Alex Lerza
82. Apr 28: Josh & Kristine Mittman
83. Apr 29: Chris & Miranda Hale
84. Apr 30: The Kims
85. May 1: Jesus & Mary Carrera
86. May 2: SueAnn McCullough
87. May 3: Chris Stahl
88. May 4: Alex Lerza
89. May 5: Josh & Kristine Mittman
90. May 6: Chris & Miranda Hale
91. May 7: Rachel Cote
92. May 8: Kim & Ron Gagosian
93. May 9: SueAnn McCullough
94. May 10: Candace Rodgers
95. May 11: Alex Lerza
96. May 12:
97. May 13:
98. May 14: Amy McGuire
99. May 15: Beverly Silva
100. May 16: SueAnn McCullough
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